NEWS...and pancakes

This has proven to be a great Leap Day! (which occurs every 4 years, thankyouverymuch! Dinner discussion. Subject closed. P.S.: Yours truly was right :) )

So. Some exciting news. I got a call this morning at precisely 10:10 AM with the news that I have been chosen (out of 120 applicants) for an interview for Chattanooga State's Dental Hygiene program! To say I am proud is a definite understatement!

However, I don't want to get too ahead of myself. There will be one more cut after interviews to choose the final class and narrow it down to 20. My interview is March 12, and I would appreciate any prayers!

But...but... on that note, I did find a print I wouldn't mind putting in my office once I get a job in the profession :)

I've always been a fan of the "Keep Calm &..." prints. (I liked 'em BEFORE they were cool, people!) This one is too great for a dental hygienist or a dentist.

I need to take a moment to thank God. He has been way too good to me. I have been blessed so abundantly with things and moments and people that sometimes I wonder why I deserve. I just want to thank Him for everything, big and small, he does to teach me and make me a better person. I fail Him everyday, but I have faith I can grow and learn.

Did any of you have a chance to stop by IHOP yesterday for National Pancake Day and get free pancakes?! I hope you did! All donations accepted yesterday went to benefit the Children's Miracle Network. Free pancakes + donated funds = Happy people eating syrupy goodness while supporting an awesome charity. Hello! Sugar...helping kids...that's A-ok in my book!

This week is NEDAwareness Week and I am loving it! Visiting schools to educate on the reality of eating disorders and their prevalence is something I can say that I am really proud of. I'll have to save that for another post!

xoxo - C

post love day post

The day after Valentine's day. Bah. Being the seasonal and holiday-loving creature that I am, I can't help but feel a little blank now that Sweethearts Day is over. Buuuut - next up, Momma's birthday...then St. Patty's...then Daddy's bday...then Easter! It's only a few weeks shy of spring, ya'll!

I thought I would pop in for a quick post on Valentine's Day before I submerge myself into the depths of my Microbiology book. (cue confetti throwing)

Ty & I spent our 1st Engagement Anniversary (Feb. 11) in Nashville at a really cool restaurant called Bound'ry. It was definitely something different and unusual. Our date was complete with nice linens, a leather-bound menu book, and great atmosphere. We even splurged and ordered dessert. (something we never do, oddly...being the sugar loving one in the relationship!)

We ordered the King's Desire. Good, but different. Different, but good.

Come actual Valentine's Day Day and we had a nice little evening out at our local Mexican restaurant in town and afterwards paid a visit to our nieces at their house and enjoyed a Scooby Doo movie on the loveseat :) Perfect if you ask me. I also ended up getting an additional present (a facial & back massage) apart from the other two that Ty had given me 3 nights before! Am I one lucky girl or what? Gotta love it.

I made Ty some "special" cupcakes, and he loved that! I am (slowly but surely) gaining confidence in my domestic abilities. :) I also got him a little bag filled with odds & ends, a back massage (go figure :)), and a new quilt for his bed (note to self: don't do that again)! ;)

So there's my Cupid holiday wrap-up! I hope yours was filled with lots of X's and O's!

God bless!

xoxo-C

Standing here on my soapbox.

Tonight I have a lot of things on my mind. But, what else is new?

I started this blogging experience for a number of reasons. One being so I can continue my love for journaling and writing; one being so I can have a "scrapbook" of what so many people refer to as the best years of your life; one being so I can keep people updated in a more stylistic manner of my year as Miss Country Sunshine, leading up to Miss Tennessee in just 4 short months.

And in 4 short months, a lot can happen. A lot can happen in a day. A lot can happen in a year. In my case, a lot can happen in 5 years. 5 years ago, when I was struggling with my eating disorder. 5 years ago, when I was breaking down. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. That is not to say that I am not still struggling. When someone has an eating disorder, it affects them every single day for the rest of their lives. I have been fortunate enough not to have had a definite relapse. However, like I have just stated, each day is a struggle.

I have wondered whether or not to blog about my illness for quite some time. It is not a matter to take lightly, and I hope that whomever comes across this post will take it to heart and consider the magnitude of the sickness.

Because A) It is a sickness. B) It is not a lifestyle choice. C) It is not something you just "get over." D) It is not to be joked about. - Would you joke about someone with tuberculosis or cancer?

I didn't think so.

It's a fight for someone with an ED every time they see a commercial on TV for the newest, lowest calorie granola bar on the market. Each time they overhear a girl in the next dressing room complaining about how they can't fit into a size 4 dress anymore. Each time they look down at their thighs when driving in their car and unintentionally morph their minds into thinking they've grown 2 cm. Each time they are offered a snack by a friend and naturally calculate the nutritional information off the top of their heads, by habit.

I've had my fair share of these weak moments, but don't underestimate me. I am strong. It takes work, but I am Caroline for a reason. God bless my fiance, Tyler's, soul for putting up with me and my nonsense for so long. It's a wonder how he does it. It's a wonder how my family does it. But together, we're ok. We're normal. Ok, maybe not normal :)

Then....enter the world of pageantry. I love being a pageant girl, wouldn't trade it for all the hairspray or AB stones in Allison Alderson DeMarcus's dressing room! The rewards of being in an MAO family are something that I can take with me for the rest of my life. However, throw the swimsuit competition in there and we have ourselves a "compare-a-palooza" for all contestants (young, old, retired, current, has-been, etc.) Step onto that stage lined with 4,752 lightbulbs and the remarks flood in like a rainstorm. "Must've taken a lot of tricep dips for those arms!" "You see that little jiggle there, on her left butt cheek?" "Lord have mercy look at the cellulite!" "Those chiseled abs!"

Been there, done that. Proud of it. I won prelim swimsuit at my local, and you can bet your Swarovski crystals I am very proud of that. I won that award 10 pounds heavier than I am now. And at the weight I am now, I am being praised, I am being scorned, I am being speculated about, and everything in between. What set off that weight loss was a mix between a bad awful horrendous stomach bug and a minor medical illness. I'm fine, promise! But we all have our problems. Now I am at a crossroads, feeling more vulnerable than ever.

The thing about being labeled as someone who "has had an eating disorder", is that you are under a microscope for the rest of your life. I will always either be perfectly normal, too little, or too big. And that's life. Go figure!

But, I am Caroline. I will always be Caroline. And proud of it. I am Caroline, Miss Country Sunshine with a platform of Eating Disorder Education and Awareness. Caroline, with a passion for exercise, nutrition...and all things baking. Caroline, who is way way way way way too anxious and excited for Miss TN in 4 months.

It's gonna be hard. It's gonna be a wild ride. It's gonna be amazing. Fun, scary, nerve-wracking, and most importantly...unforgettable.

I am stronger than some stupid eating disorder. I make every day a learning experience. I LOVE all my family and friends that raise me up and make life such a rush. And...

I am really excited about getting to share my story with others. I want others to know the ins and outs, ups and downs, and all there is to know in between.

I love each and every one of you. God loves me, God loves everyone. And I'm standing by that for the rest of my journey.

xoxo-C

the month of LOVE

It's February, ya'll. Notice the correct spelling of the month :) Sorry...pet peeve of mine. I can't stand when people leave out the extra R! February...not Febuary.

Anywho, isn't it supposed to be...you know...cold outside? It feels like straight up SPRING! And the little groundhog man ole P-tawney Phil said there's going to be 6 more wks of winter! And by "winter", I assume he means spring. It's all throwing me off. The last 2 days, I have come out of the gym wearing a short sleeve shirt and either shorts or capris. What's up with that?



February also means that it is the month that includes NEDAwareness Week. If ya'll don't know already, I am Miss Country Sunshine 2012 and will be representing my hometown at Miss Tennessee this June. (Sorry for those of you that have had to hear this 73298 times :) ) My chosen platform is Eating Disorder Education and Awareness. I can't wait to get involved with NEDAwareness Week and really get into the schools and classrooms to educate and inform teens, preteens, and children on this disease. Because...it is a disease, not a lifestyle choice. So many people do not realize that.

The NEDA website, http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/, is an AWESOME resource for anyone who wants to get involved, so be sure to hop on over there!

I have recently read about a new prayer strategy that I am anxious to try. It is called the "SOAP" method. Soap? Yep, soap! SOAP stands for "Scripture, Observation, Application, & Prayer." This is from the SOAP Study website...

"It's quite simple. When you sit for your daily quiet time read the bible as you
normally would with one simple difference. Underline or make note of any verses
that jump out at you with special significance. This is the basis for diving
deeper and using S.O.A.P."

So here is an example of how a SOAP entry might look...

Thurs., May 8 - John 15:1-8
S This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit showing yourselves to be my disciples. O Disciple is not a title you just get. A disciple is a person who is known by his or her actions. Actually, it’s not the action he is does, but it’s the results or fruit of his actions that make him a disciple. Not the flurry of activity. This fruit is a byproduct of a connection to God. It’s God’s activity through our work that produces fruit. Our job is to remain connected to his power and ability as we obey him.
A I must stay close and connected to Christ so that as I follow his commands he might make my efforts fruitful.
P Father, help me to be fruitful. Help me to see the fruitfulness of my life.

Simple enough, right? I think it would be a great feeling to have a whole journal filled with this type of prayer. I'm big on categorizing and writing anyway, so this combines them both! It will be great to know I can flip through verses and get a corresponding personal prayer.

Pray for me, guys!

xoxo-C