The Luck of the Pageant Girl

Seems like a fitting title for my weekend, right? It has been an exceptional past 3 days, traveling 530.23 miles from McMinnville to Union City to Jackson back to McMinnville. Friday, a trip was made up to Joann's Of Union City for an always-exciting visit with Paige Carlton and Jared Hamlin. They are such incredible people and gracious sponsors of the Miss Tennessee Scholarship Pageant. After finishing up in Union City, we checked into our hotel, went out for a yummy dinner, and visited with my sister queens, Camille Gear (Country Sunshine's Outstanding Teen) and Kristen Perry (Country Sunshine's Teen Princess). More on their pageants later! :)

Alarm was set early Saturday morning to get up and ready for the annual Miss Tennessee Workshop at Carl Perkins Civic Center (pictured below), where the Miss Tennessee Scholarship Pageants will be held this summer. The purpose of the workshop is to allow all of the contestants to meet one another, be informed on all of our upcoming pageant plans for June, receive our contestant numbers and groups, find out roommates, and basically get geared up for our big week of June 17-23! Since I am a first time contestant, I didn't really know what to expect, but I can definitely say that I was so pleased with the way Ms. Jane, Mr. Chris, and Mr. Tim, along with the whole pageant board, conducted the workshop. All questions were answered in a very clear manner, and from 9 AM-3 PM we were absorbing all of the information that I know we had all been wondering about since receiving local crowns.

By the way, I must brag on our own Miss Country Sunshine Organization. We received the Community Support Award, along with the MTSU/MTBR Organization!

Towards the end of the workshop, we had the Contestant Lottery. Each contestant's name is drawn from a bowl, and, one by one, each girl is allowed to choose a number in the line-up. The numbers are distributed until each girl has a spot, ranging from #1-#36. I had my sights set on Group C (numbers 25-36), which competes in Swimsuit Wednedsay night, Evening Gown Thursday night, & Talent Friday night. Well, St. Patty's Day luck must have been in my favor because my name was drawn about midway through and I chose to be #25.

After numbers were assigned, Allison Alderson DeMarcus announced the roommate list. I learned I will be rooming with Miss Bristol Amy Flynn. Ironic, because we were actually sitting two people away from each other in meetings, anyway! It's always exciting to find out who you will be sharing a room with during a high-energy, yet exhausting glamour week! Now to decide who will bring what... :)

Once the contestant workshop was over, first-time state contestants and parents were encouraged to attend a Judges Seminar Workshop. Mr. Chris Chambers did a fantastic job presenting all of the ins and outs of how a MAO pageant is to be judged. It really puts things in perspective!

Mom and I had about an hour and a half to recharge our batteries a little before the Tennessee Outstanding Teen & Tennessee Teen Princess pageants that night at 6 PM. As I said earlier, my two "sisters" Camille (OT) and Kristen (TP) competed in each pageant, respectively, and truly represented the Country Sunshine Organization with talent and grace. They both rocked it on stage, and Camille even brought home 3rd Runner-up! So proud of she and Kristen! Also, I must give a congratulations to the new TN Outstanding Teen Haley Butler and TN Teen Princess Hope Parker! All of these girls are an asset to the Miss Tennessee Organization.

The Teen & Princess pageants also gave us, as Miss TN contestants, an opportunity introduce ourselves on-stage and also give the audience a "preview" of who is competing in June.

The pageant concluded, and back to the hotel I went. The bed was surely calling my name!

Sunday (today), we made the haul back to McMinnville and are now back home safe and sound. (Props to daddy for being such a good sport this weekend, driving us women around!)

The next 3 months will surely fly by and I am so excited to do my best at the Miss Tennessee Pageant. I hope to bring McMinnville a sense of pride and accomplishment home. I am so thankful for all the supporters, family, and friends I have in my life. I would not be where I am today without them, and, of course, God. I will be relying on my favorite scripture for the months to come.... "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

xoxo-C

NEWS...and pancakes

This has proven to be a great Leap Day! (which occurs every 4 years, thankyouverymuch! Dinner discussion. Subject closed. P.S.: Yours truly was right :) )

So. Some exciting news. I got a call this morning at precisely 10:10 AM with the news that I have been chosen (out of 120 applicants) for an interview for Chattanooga State's Dental Hygiene program! To say I am proud is a definite understatement!

However, I don't want to get too ahead of myself. There will be one more cut after interviews to choose the final class and narrow it down to 20. My interview is March 12, and I would appreciate any prayers!

But...but... on that note, I did find a print I wouldn't mind putting in my office once I get a job in the profession :)

I've always been a fan of the "Keep Calm &..." prints. (I liked 'em BEFORE they were cool, people!) This one is too great for a dental hygienist or a dentist.

I need to take a moment to thank God. He has been way too good to me. I have been blessed so abundantly with things and moments and people that sometimes I wonder why I deserve. I just want to thank Him for everything, big and small, he does to teach me and make me a better person. I fail Him everyday, but I have faith I can grow and learn.

Did any of you have a chance to stop by IHOP yesterday for National Pancake Day and get free pancakes?! I hope you did! All donations accepted yesterday went to benefit the Children's Miracle Network. Free pancakes + donated funds = Happy people eating syrupy goodness while supporting an awesome charity. Hello! Sugar...helping kids...that's A-ok in my book!

This week is NEDAwareness Week and I am loving it! Visiting schools to educate on the reality of eating disorders and their prevalence is something I can say that I am really proud of. I'll have to save that for another post!

xoxo - C

Standing here on my soapbox.

Tonight I have a lot of things on my mind. But, what else is new?

I started this blogging experience for a number of reasons. One being so I can continue my love for journaling and writing; one being so I can have a "scrapbook" of what so many people refer to as the best years of your life; one being so I can keep people updated in a more stylistic manner of my year as Miss Country Sunshine, leading up to Miss Tennessee in just 4 short months.

And in 4 short months, a lot can happen. A lot can happen in a day. A lot can happen in a year. In my case, a lot can happen in 5 years. 5 years ago, when I was struggling with my eating disorder. 5 years ago, when I was breaking down. Mentally, physically, and emotionally. That is not to say that I am not still struggling. When someone has an eating disorder, it affects them every single day for the rest of their lives. I have been fortunate enough not to have had a definite relapse. However, like I have just stated, each day is a struggle.

I have wondered whether or not to blog about my illness for quite some time. It is not a matter to take lightly, and I hope that whomever comes across this post will take it to heart and consider the magnitude of the sickness.

Because A) It is a sickness. B) It is not a lifestyle choice. C) It is not something you just "get over." D) It is not to be joked about. - Would you joke about someone with tuberculosis or cancer?

I didn't think so.

It's a fight for someone with an ED every time they see a commercial on TV for the newest, lowest calorie granola bar on the market. Each time they overhear a girl in the next dressing room complaining about how they can't fit into a size 4 dress anymore. Each time they look down at their thighs when driving in their car and unintentionally morph their minds into thinking they've grown 2 cm. Each time they are offered a snack by a friend and naturally calculate the nutritional information off the top of their heads, by habit.

I've had my fair share of these weak moments, but don't underestimate me. I am strong. It takes work, but I am Caroline for a reason. God bless my fiance, Tyler's, soul for putting up with me and my nonsense for so long. It's a wonder how he does it. It's a wonder how my family does it. But together, we're ok. We're normal. Ok, maybe not normal :)

Then....enter the world of pageantry. I love being a pageant girl, wouldn't trade it for all the hairspray or AB stones in Allison Alderson DeMarcus's dressing room! The rewards of being in an MAO family are something that I can take with me for the rest of my life. However, throw the swimsuit competition in there and we have ourselves a "compare-a-palooza" for all contestants (young, old, retired, current, has-been, etc.) Step onto that stage lined with 4,752 lightbulbs and the remarks flood in like a rainstorm. "Must've taken a lot of tricep dips for those arms!" "You see that little jiggle there, on her left butt cheek?" "Lord have mercy look at the cellulite!" "Those chiseled abs!"

Been there, done that. Proud of it. I won prelim swimsuit at my local, and you can bet your Swarovski crystals I am very proud of that. I won that award 10 pounds heavier than I am now. And at the weight I am now, I am being praised, I am being scorned, I am being speculated about, and everything in between. What set off that weight loss was a mix between a bad awful horrendous stomach bug and a minor medical illness. I'm fine, promise! But we all have our problems. Now I am at a crossroads, feeling more vulnerable than ever.

The thing about being labeled as someone who "has had an eating disorder", is that you are under a microscope for the rest of your life. I will always either be perfectly normal, too little, or too big. And that's life. Go figure!

But, I am Caroline. I will always be Caroline. And proud of it. I am Caroline, Miss Country Sunshine with a platform of Eating Disorder Education and Awareness. Caroline, with a passion for exercise, nutrition...and all things baking. Caroline, who is way way way way way too anxious and excited for Miss TN in 4 months.

It's gonna be hard. It's gonna be a wild ride. It's gonna be amazing. Fun, scary, nerve-wracking, and most importantly...unforgettable.

I am stronger than some stupid eating disorder. I make every day a learning experience. I LOVE all my family and friends that raise me up and make life such a rush. And...

I am really excited about getting to share my story with others. I want others to know the ins and outs, ups and downs, and all there is to know in between.

I love each and every one of you. God loves me, God loves everyone. And I'm standing by that for the rest of my journey.

xoxo-C

the month of LOVE

It's February, ya'll. Notice the correct spelling of the month :) Sorry...pet peeve of mine. I can't stand when people leave out the extra R! February...not Febuary.

Anywho, isn't it supposed to be...you know...cold outside? It feels like straight up SPRING! And the little groundhog man ole P-tawney Phil said there's going to be 6 more wks of winter! And by "winter", I assume he means spring. It's all throwing me off. The last 2 days, I have come out of the gym wearing a short sleeve shirt and either shorts or capris. What's up with that?



February also means that it is the month that includes NEDAwareness Week. If ya'll don't know already, I am Miss Country Sunshine 2012 and will be representing my hometown at Miss Tennessee this June. (Sorry for those of you that have had to hear this 73298 times :) ) My chosen platform is Eating Disorder Education and Awareness. I can't wait to get involved with NEDAwareness Week and really get into the schools and classrooms to educate and inform teens, preteens, and children on this disease. Because...it is a disease, not a lifestyle choice. So many people do not realize that.

The NEDA website, http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/, is an AWESOME resource for anyone who wants to get involved, so be sure to hop on over there!

I have recently read about a new prayer strategy that I am anxious to try. It is called the "SOAP" method. Soap? Yep, soap! SOAP stands for "Scripture, Observation, Application, & Prayer." This is from the SOAP Study website...

"It's quite simple. When you sit for your daily quiet time read the bible as you
normally would with one simple difference. Underline or make note of any verses
that jump out at you with special significance. This is the basis for diving
deeper and using S.O.A.P."

So here is an example of how a SOAP entry might look...

Thurs., May 8 - John 15:1-8
S This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit showing yourselves to be my disciples. O Disciple is not a title you just get. A disciple is a person who is known by his or her actions. Actually, it’s not the action he is does, but it’s the results or fruit of his actions that make him a disciple. Not the flurry of activity. This fruit is a byproduct of a connection to God. It’s God’s activity through our work that produces fruit. Our job is to remain connected to his power and ability as we obey him.
A I must stay close and connected to Christ so that as I follow his commands he might make my efforts fruitful.
P Father, help me to be fruitful. Help me to see the fruitfulness of my life.

Simple enough, right? I think it would be a great feeling to have a whole journal filled with this type of prayer. I'm big on categorizing and writing anyway, so this combines them both! It will be great to know I can flip through verses and get a corresponding personal prayer.

Pray for me, guys!

xoxo-C

Tell me everything is wonderful now

I heard a song today that I hadn't heard in years. Which is funny, because usually songs that I love stick with me. But this was a nice refreshing beat to my day today. "Wonderful" by Everclear. It came out in 2000 - 12 years ago...what?! - crazy! Anyway, as I was driving through my quaint little downtown part of McMinnville, I just couldn't help but stop and really listen to those words in the song.

Starts out...

I close my eyes when I get too sad

I think thoughts that I know are bad

Close my eyes and I count to ten

Hope it's over when I open them

Even though I was only 8 when this hit came out, I remember listening to the song and not fully understanding what the aforementioned meant. "I think thoughts that I know are bad" - I couldn't wrap my mind around what they were trying to say. I couldn't wrap my mind around anything past a problem beyond a B- on a social studies test or why I couldn't nail a backhandspring in gymnastics. I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that other kids, other people, other adults, had problems that caused "thoughts that I know are bad."

I go to school and I run and play

I tell the kids that it's all okay

I like to laugh so my friends won't know

When the bell rings I just don't want to go home

Still...even now, at nearly 20 years old, I have trouble imagining this situation for children. That at 6,9,12 year old kids have to put on a front so young to seem "okay."

Near the end of the song, it closes...

Promises mean everything when you're little

And the world is so big

I just don't understand how

You can smile with all those tears in your eyes

When you tell me everything is wonderful now

And when you stop and think about it...promises really do mean everything. Everything when you're little, and everything when you're big. I guess the moral of this whole schpeel is this:

If you ever see a child without a smile, go out of your way to make that child smile.

Make a funny face, smile at them, tell them a joke, tickle them. You don't know what that child goes home to, or doesn't go home to, at night. That may be the only time he or she feels special that whole day, or whole week.

And yes, I know, they can be whiny and snotty and gross and bratty, but they're kids! :) Look past it, however hard it may be! (God bless my sweet mama, an elementary school teacher for 20-some years. P.S. - Make sure teachers know they are appreciated, too! They take those kids' stories and lives home with them.)

Tomorrow I am making a visit to Smithville Elementary School to read & speak to two 2nd grade classes, and I can't wait. I want those kids to know they are loved. If not by their parents, by God.

Be the light that you want to see shine.

xoxo- C

Guess who's back?

...back again? Caroline's back, tell a friend.

It's been a WHILE, right? Well, at least I have a reason or two! That can be summed up in one joyous word: BUSY. I have been running around like a little cluckster with my head cut off. Where did this past month go?! No, no...where did this past year go!!??! It's November 3rd! The third day of November. 3 days into the second to last month of the year!

And it's getting cold.

Halloween has passed. I didn't even get to blog about Halloween, how nutsy is that?! I didn't dress up this year (sad face), but I did get to go to a little party or two with some costume-clad friends. I kind of have an obsession with planning Halloween costumes, but just never got around to getting one and really didn't know I was actually going to participate in the whole "Halloweekend" party deal, but I am sure glad I got to! (...but without a costume) Sad.

I did see a few this year that I absolutely loved. One being the "Black Swan" costume getup.

Love. Love love love!

I've always been draw to "Marie" from the Disney movie Aristocats and never knew they made a costume of her until this year! Meow :)Why hadn't I thought of that before?!

And mark my words, one year I will be Belle of Beauty and the Beast. I am a brunette. I love yellow. Match made in heaven.

Anywho, Halloween is over (sad face) and Turkey Day (plus a million other things) is only a few weeks away! I. Cannot. Believe. That. So...without further adieu, the official Sweet Southern Caroline event countdown:

3 days til my brother (and my baby cocker spaniel)'s birthday

15 days til Hearts on Fire in Gatlinburg

16 days til UT-Vandy game

21 days til Thanksgiving

23 days til my Premier Jewelry party hosted by my wonderful little FSIL

30 days til McMinnville Christmas parade (yay for getting to be in it again this year as Miss Country Sunshine!)

33 days until Christmas in the Park

37 days til Main Street McMinnville's 1940's "I'll Be Home for Christmas" event downtown

51 days til Christmas Eve

52 days til Christmas!

WHAT? Wait..what? 52 days til Christmas? No. Can't be.

Ok, it can. But really - where has 2011 gone?

After this year, it will be 2012 - then at this time next year I will be counting down the days til wedding time! (October 2013 say whaaat)

Now that I have those events listed, it doesn't seem like too awfully much, but then I am realizing...throw in school appearances, clinical observations, exams, shopping trips (for gifts, people!), appointments, prelims, more appearances, and all the day-to-day life stuff - it gets pretttty busy!
But...I like it that way :)

I had blogged a little earlier mentioning my Miss Tennessee photoshoot with the wonderful JHAAS Designs. Well, that too has come & gone and man, was I blown away! I had such an awesome day with Jeff, my mom, and one of my little sister queens and her mom, that day. We had so much fun! I am so thankful to have Jeffrey Haas as a Miss Country Sunshine Organization sponsor and for his wondeful photography. Here's a little preview of a complete one...

Can't wait to see the rest of them when they are done!

Have a wonderful rest of this week!

xoxo-C

It's the MOST wonderful time of the year!

...to this girl, at least :) It's 4 days into October and I am l-o-v-e loving fall! My very favorite season is here and that means lots of things: Halloween, cool crisp weather, boots, scarves, fall baking, Thanksgiving, SEC football, hoodies/sweatpants, pumpkins, and everything that comes with the anticipation of the upcoming holiday season! October is love. Love is October. (& in October 2013, love will literally be October; aka mine & Ty's wedding!)

Alright, calm down. Ok, whew.

OH, and I forgot to mention skinny Pumpkin Spice lattes at the 'Bucks...ok, sorry :) I'll stop!

This month is going to be super busy for me! (which is fine by me...busy is good!) I have had 2 A&P exams this week, pageant coaching sessions, my MISS TENNESSEE headshot photoshoot this Saturday, and have an appearance scheduled Saturday evening at the Miss WC Princess/Jr Teen pageant, as well. So exciting! I have a little chance to breathe this evening, so I am Shutterfly-ing a birthday gift and catching up in the blogworld.

October also consists of a few Miss TN prelims that I will be attending to see who will be crowned & in turn, have the opportunity to compete with me next June in Jackson at the MISS TN SCHOLARSHIP PAGEANT! So excited. I am hoping to schedule a couple of school appearances for this month as well, to promote my platform, Eating Disorder Education & Awareness. So, if you're a student or teacher, hit me up & I would love to come visit! :)

This past weekend was the annual Autumn Street Fair here in McMinnville and I can't say enough about it! I absolutely love going each year. McMinnville is full of so many talented people.

Mom got this Halloween canvas from Brandie Mansfield over at http://dreamcustomartwork.blogspot.com/. If you have never checked her work out before, you so need to! Her canvases are absolute perfection! She has also done a few canvases for me and also for friends as gifts.

I got this adorable decorated pumpkin from Bethany Crouch-Guthrie and her friends over at the March of Dimes booth! I am in love with the ribbon details! Great purchase, plus the all funds went to March of Dimes!

I hope ya'll have had a great start to October! xoxo-C